Tonight, I’m getting a late start. But I’m sure we’re all used to feeling like that time and time again, so I’m just going to congratulate myself for being here, for showing up. Tonight, for Thoughtful Thursday, I thought I’d talk about practicing gratitude, however brief this post may be.

Growing up, I was always told to be grateful for things, but never to practice gratitude in a way that was overt and defined. There’s a major difference, especially considering that some of us need things spelled out explicitly. Being grateful, especially without practice, feels hollow, like following someone else’s orders. And we probably are just biting our tongues and following that grateful order a good deal of the time. Practicing gratitude involves a mental paradigm shift, one which asks a great deal of self-honesty from its practitioners.

To start practicing gratitude, just start with one thing you are truly, absolutely, no-shit thankful for. Pick something easy like your partner (or not, yikes), a pet, your favorite athletic team, performer, or perhaps your favorite meal or drink. Clear your mind for the space of a breath, then focus that energy on the subject of your gratitude. Then congratulate yourself for taking a small step towards kindness and positivity. For bonus points, try telling someone in your life that you’re grateful for them or their work or service. This is by no means a starter-move in practicing gratitude, but some of us like to cannonball into the pool. I support cannonballing and toe-dipping alike.

Positivity and thankfulness tend to spread like wildfire, and I think starting with one true act of grateful reflection will have exponential positive returns for anybody. We feel good when we do good for others, and if we get out of our heads and turn down the volume of our own egos, it’s a little easier to remember that we’re all going through the same experience. Practicing gratitude is about slowly shifting your outlook to notice all the effort and care that your neighbors give to this world, and all that you do for it too. It is about training our reflexes to err on the positive side of things, and to appreciate the limited time we have.

I could write for days on this, but I still have other work to do tonight. Here are some other easy practices to put into play to slowly stretch your thankful muscles:

1. Say please and thank you as much as you can
2. Thank everyone who prepares you food in any way
3. Tell people when you like something they do or say
4. Give an employee or boss surprise positive feedback (only if applicable, don’t be crass)
5. Take at least five minutes a day and cycle through whatever you can think of that you’re thankful for. No phones allowed!

This is a good start. Now, I must backstep before I finish: being grateful is not a bad thing. When we are truly thankful for something, practicing gratitude and being grateful achieve harmonious reconciliation. But lying or performing gratitude is disingenuous at best, and full of the implications of self-harm and a lack of agency at worst. So, don’t be grateful for the bogus that you can’t get behind, and practice gratitude so you have the wisdom and humility to know whether or not you’re being a giant dingledorf about it.

Have an excellent day/night/life, and I hope to see you back here soon! Thanks for reading the Battle Blog, and always remember you’re not in this alone.