You know, I’ve been slacking on this thing, but I don’t really feel bad about it. I’m trying to reduce shame in my life, and as good as motivator as it can be, I think it often serves a toxic purpose. That isn’t to say that we shouldn’t feel shame when we make egregious character faults or act in a terrible way, but rather we shouldn’t feel shame except in the most deserving circumstances. How do we know when to feel it and when not to? I don’t have a perfect answer, but I think we would all do better to shame ourselves and others a little less. Especially if it’s over a couple of missed blog posts. 😉

Today for Thoughtful Thursday, I want to write about the three most important words I’ve discovered in my adult life: come and see. While I love you is a hugely important part of my life, and I try to say it to my partner, friends, family, and everyone dear to me, its meaning is something known to me. Its value varies depending on who says it and when.

Come and see, to me, incorporates an entire belief system and way of leading in three words, and they have been essential in my turn seeking greater mindfulness and growth mindset. Now, I’m no scholar, but come and see is essentially a derivation of what Siddartha Buddha said to one of his followers when asked why he should follow the Buddha and his teachings.

The Buddha basically said, “I cannot answer this for you, but I can show you the path. Come and see for yourself. Ehipassiko.”

Maybe it shouldn’t feel so profound to me, but I grew up in a Christian tradition, falling away from any sort of substantial faith at young age. This isn’t meant to argue against anyone’s faith or beliefs, I just couldn’t stand for the hypocrisy I saw from people who proudly toted their faith and the things they might do in the name of said faith. My specific issue, I think, was an obsession with conversion, a doctrine that damned people to hell for choosing a different belief. This, of course, was my young view on things, but it was enough for me to lose the faith.

I spent about ten years oscillating between states of atheism and agnosticism until I really started to suffer from fits of existential doom dreaming. I even still love to think about the state of consciousness after our physical death, and the possibility of what happens afterwards. It is not darkness, but nothingness, not sleep, but eternity. What does that mean for all of our wants, needs, loves, trials, etc.?

Well physically, nothing, because even the universe will eventually experience heat death, degenerating back into the mass of dust and energy from whence it came. There is absolutely nothing we can do or theorize to stop this, so good thing it is billions of years away. If that doesn’t scare you, remember that eventually the sun will destroy the Earth. If we don’t do it first, bb.

Anyways, these attacks really hit me hard sometimes, so I turned back to meditation. I started with beginner books, things that really focused on the methodology of Vipassana (breathing centered meditation), light on Buddhism. But little bits of the Dharma snuck through the books and lessons, and I began to find myself more interested. And the meditation helped calm me and so much more. But this post isn’t about the benefits of meditation.

Come and see embodies a principle that would change the world if more people followed it. It says, nothing I can say will convince you, you’ll have to try it out for yourself. And that is such a refreshing style of belief. If the way I am living inspires you, let me share with you what I can about the way, though you’ll have to walk it yourself. It does not pressure others into changing their mind, nor does it damn them to a plane of oblivion.

Come and see also has a lot of modern parallels that we consider truisms.

Lead by example.

Children learn by watching us, not what we tell them.

Do as I say, not as I do.

That last one is a sort of opposite example haha. Come and see mentality has opened my heart back towards a more loving a spiritual world view, while helping me to accept the beliefs of others more whole-heartedly. For if you are not affecting the freedoms of others, their ability to make sentient and conscious decisions for themselves, what right do I have to tell you how to live your life?

The answer is none. Zero. But if you’re curious about how I live, well, then come and see for yourself. If you are affecting the freedoms of others, consider that your beliefs should hold no sway over the agency of another conscious being, and we should make strides to remedy any trespasses of that integral human right.

No one can walk your path for you, but if you have a mentor or paragon of your personal values, I challenge you to see if they practice come and see. And I challenge you to practice it for yourself.

Kyle, if you’re reading back over this, don’t forget to sharpen the saw, and to center a meditation around Ehipassiko at least once every few months. Because those three words could change the entire world if they gained enough momentum.

Stay fabulous and go in kindness,

Kbizzle